DRYWATER
eric solibakke
go easy toward madness
arrive fresh and vigorous
arrive with reserves
like odysseus , sufficient to pull
the most recalcitrant bow
AGORA PRESS ONLINE
Oslo, Norway
third edition 1999
1968, 1987, 1999 © eric solibakke
contents
- my courage
- Clock of Clocks
- At a Cafe
- If I Were Something Else
- Cones
- the woman by the gate
- the gray eyes of my door
- Time Now Is
- Mescaline
- Murder
- Epitaph
- city of dioce
- Prayer
- Winter
- not to tell a man
- transparent green
- Straight Arrow Ikon
- all in an embrace of long winter
- Monument
- On the Areopagos
- " full of life now
- over my zenith
- For Cotton Mather
- Morning
- as usual
- New Man in Town
DRYWATER
my courage my courage comes not from recklessness
but from the calm of inner certitudeevery being flames with his own presence ,
every decision right , every action righton days without wind the sea is repose
only the porpoise at play breaks the calm
Clock of Clocks the flower of genius grows
at the brain's base
blossoms by burning
at the spine's truck ,
spinnaker ribs full and drawing
on heart
windy pulse of present
stout as muscledom-dom heart time
clock of clocks commands dead tongues
to tower of babel in memory ,
calls on lost languages ,
pitches my tent on dead sea sanddivisions of time falling on body
penetrate soul ,
desire designs the bird's wingnow i lay me down to wake
and pray the lord my soul to make
fully whole as angel's eye
toe of newt , heart of snakethe catharsis of aristotle-pains ,
hamartia , too big for life
sensation of pain substitute
for the feeling of life ,
an unused inlet of soulbeing
on the way to becoming angels
being
the matter of spiritthus as the apple warms my eye
and the wine of straw supports me ,
the hands of friends
resemble those of enemiesin the darkness i cannot distinguish ;
they burn on the floor of gravest joy
close to silence , where the words carry me
At a Cafe a few dozen eyes made me feel wound
in ancient toga , while others potsherd red
exiled body beyond time with scratchy staresthe eyes found shapes
in a colored field with flags
like fingerprints
on the limbs of alive leaves
turning silver thighs to heaventhe eyes count
pleasures in condemning to death
an ant guilty ,
the crime of setting foot on one's skin
If I Were Something Else if i were something else
i'd be professional
independent of gangs and rackets
a wanted man
whispered about
called desperate on page 1i'd take pride in my work
learn locks and airline schedules by heart
read charts , diagrams
and cultivate a crooked cheeki'd practice accents and makeup ,
getaways , signatures
educate my fingers for magic
and read the society page to keep abreast
of my colleaguesi'd invent new crimes and new tools
and name them
in notebooks full of mockery
i'd act out the secret of my voicei'd be buried in sham
i sweat i fart
curses bloody my mouth
i blow my nose on the blanket
wipe my ass on my hat
i jerk off , i come pox on doorknobsif i were something else
i'd circulate around black dollars
and stay in suburban hotels with back doors
give myself a gold tooth for each year in solitary
for women i'd violate what i wanti'd mainline
with more vitality than a politician
i'd charge interest on my advice ,
eat animals , lie to the taxi driver
about where i want to go
i'd read pornography for pleasure
and kill anybody i didn't like
the papers in my wallet smell of bloodi'd descend from byzantium
with an air of violence in my pockets
and feed my perversions on history
i'd laugh all the time
and donate to museums what i stealnobody knows where my costume comes from
as for my eyes , better to pray and believe
than glance my way
Cones do i remember falling asleep
after costumes and nakedness
oum kathum
refugees from the new phoenix land
robin's hooded children
walking among police cars
and stuffed uniforms
transistorized street
woebegone spring groovegellabia's lonesome fantasy of deserts
and cultures built on sandrefugees displacees escapees
cold fingers scooped under the balls
revolving memories of funhiding among cypress roots
on a sandy river bottom
water skiing through the wakes
of tugs descending the columbiafun structures sprouting in greek sun
splendidly arrayed in gellabia and turban
a corny version of afghanistan's chieftain
with cameras to cool the cops
coughing from a cunt hair in my throatlady egypt rolls her belly and speaks west coast
with a zoom mind and a pouch of mexico's finest,
the shoeshine boys are empty handed and embarrassedfairuz
furtive rebels
slant eyed from reading mao
shoulders hoisted
imaginations watered by pillsmaria saw ares dead
draped corpse with his head toward akropolis
cypress candles , the stars their flamegames are called for
no oar stuck hastily at sea's edge
funeral games to rival patroklusdarkened athene living the dull old age
of a curiosity
in the fussy hands of keepers
the woman by the gate the woman by the gate in falling water
sun falling earth brown
on the pulse of a thigh
black flags swaying
of hair braked against
water and airwhen i am falling against you
the weight of my experience skewers your hips
and my mind plunges into a space
of false modifications
under your skin
below white suds awash
at the top of your legsout of the moments of someone else's mind
related by possession of the same body
a hand slaps me
and a quarrelsome voice
prunes the green limbs back to a scarthe beast of energy whipped from its cradle
spends itself , and
the machinery smells brown as a merchant's thumbthe sun falls numb on dry stone
and dead habit
where the water at your feet
does not gather him
and the water in your spine
covet himthe soap bubbles whisper affection
over wild children howling in the alley
and finally
everyplace is of no return
the gray eyes of my door the gray eyes of my door and window
stare at me flat on my back
mind kinked up in a history of habits
not long ago i was young as a puppy
growing everywhichwaythe unclean lies inert in the cold inside me
fermented shit stones me
and dries along windowsills
my karma overflows with the past
and i do not what i know i do
the events that happen inside
after a day's contact with my family traditioni do not count the months a mind dwells in god
before it burns up
measure freedom before it steams away
before flaw generates flaw
and the familiar birth of death crowds beauty
out of gardenmathematical petroleum birds
fly in some sky or other
habit has guns whenever i remember him
and there's a chick lying in bed
all day waiting for her daily fuck
Time Now Is i have seen white light break the shore
of white sea stone , and now ,
now is past , habit rulesi have been myself pathless in paradise
and smelled the bloody liquid of heaven
and now , now is past , habit rulesi have worn a skin cloak
and drummed my bones on godhead
and now , now is past , habit rulesi have been paid in green leaves
and scribed my sum on balanced ledgers
and now , now is past , habit rulesi have been breathed
and i panted with joy
and now , now is past , habit rulesi have quaffed an overflowing cup
and bred seed in my bowel
and now , now is past , habit rulesi have heard rustle the bird in flight
and vertigo feathered me in high places
and now , now is past , habit rulesand now my bone turns to thorn
to prick me ,
my flesh to rags
to ugly me ,
and now , now is past ,
habit rules
Mescaline i am in danger of being conquered by malicious toys
distinction
the vale of idiocy fails me
long marches , tough terrainthe language fails me
as with soldiers in the field
the battle can be lost
reliance on ' old ' rules : valiantly
on the field of honor
above and beyond , etccall in journalists to make history
to grasp a shape out of nothing
to pull it out of air
fat moth still fluttering
jungle gyms of structure
glass and reflections on soft stonei may give up ' meaning ' and become
an insurance executive , like rimbaud
a new ice ageor fall back on violence
the boring old jack-of-all trades
a shorter piece of eternity
something small enough to have a face
to scream insome crumb of anything
to redeem this disgust
heavenly blue flower fields
there goes my mind again
mythologos
Murder what has been kicking me around all morning
and pinned me to the floor
is not lifemy opponent is facts
although the name dignifies the bastard
more than he deserveshe has a face like the covers
of international fashion magazines
and a mind
to drive a rolls
eat strawberries at christmas
own an island
sleep til noon between some kind of fancy sheetshe lives on so-what street
with a terrible hungerhow was i to know
when he dropped by this morning
like a mailman
his uncanny skill
for killing truth
Epitaph like most people i pissed
the long movie in a pile
of wreck surround me with hats
they ask me to live in
for a few hundred horses
on emperor's way
city of dioce city of dioce
city of man dioecious
bot and zool , with sexy individuals
bought and soldyoung man and vivid too
on a terrace the color of star light
nipalindra heart beat taking with quickened breath
shalith sizeable
wearer of bright garments
on a voyage within
on a voyage
with quickened body , mind quickened
and the heat of an eye shall melt themhow shall a man express in one dimension
spring rain awash deep in a gorge
outside agamemnon's windowsun's harbor chatter on a hull
s/s sardanious
rolls into a distance
of white steelthe coldest night of the year
fresh in memory
supple fingered spring takes morning coffee
at the next tablebeyond letters
yet unwritten for the uncurious
beyond comforts
buttoned snugly at the throat
beyond beyond beyond
have you heard
the baptismal font of motions
cleave hollow the aegean stonehave you lain
your skeleton on warm shoresyour flesh wetting stones to the sea's edge
Prayer my foot sticks out of your ear , poet
and my knuckle wedges your eyeballmy balls hang around your neck
and i see from the eye in your prickmy heart beats under your toenail
and my knees flow from your browmy thigh brushes your shoulder
and my brains collect in your bowelsamen
Winter i forgot to speak of darkness
cats staring lead eyed from the walls
as i penetrate the cave i live incold months day by hour
numinous sun rising stoney
a shaft of this sky tires melight sprays from a glass nozzle
hollows out space to be in
the dim thing on the end of a wirethe universe has its rights
how it killed oedipus on angel's wings
how in winter kills enough for us allon the chance of meeting dionysos
i go to his theater next to athene's place
sit in the first row among priestsplayers cross the stage on their toes
in a japanese scene from ' the tourist '
on the ground of oedipus' million deathsthe romans put a stone fence and moat
between wild animals and the citizens
although death is as likely either sideall wall is archeological matter
where some tragedy plays itself out
and falls icily into roman hands
not to tell a man not to tell a man what he doesn't know
or what he doesn't know he knowsnot to burden him with the tragedy
he has come to live
unnaturally opposed to the soul of his flesh
and flesh of his soulnot to pretend that knowing matters
unless the planet flame from ash
and play inherit it
transparent green transparent green with black eyes lizard
lives in my garden i say freedomfreedom i say to the sprawled cat on a chair
dog i anger and strike you but i say freedomspider i'm in fear i kill you i say freedom
i sit in front of the window and say freedomhe says laws i say freedom
he says rules i say freedom
he says books i say freedom
Straight Arrow Ikon f l e s f l e s e f l e s e l f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f f l e s e l f e l f l f f
all in an embrace of long winter all in an embrace of long winter
dried , hung , pickled , preserved
i stop when frost seizes my watchto stay
and die by the perseverance of decay
or flee the man
back to a simple wildernessit has taken pistons and circuits
to destroy a roman
law of battle
skewered in the effigy
of a free mandepopulation implosion on the island
of apollo fascist
driving me pioneer
forth on a godly seaan average egyptian
moves in the shadow of his ancestors' blood
cast black as slavery
on blank spacehysteria witness magi
crammed schedule
a trip to apollo costs more blood and levers
than gold can discover of men
devoted to being and sellingstumble
myself
occupied by the body of common knowledge
Monument the end of an apartment building
with part torn away showing
a mondrian painting a block widescar patterns , brick wounds
faced in colored plaster with
the vacancy of unused movie screenscupboard holes in previous life
reduced to single dimensional memories
old as exposed filmthe after-odors of privacy , tears
and tender words trapped in
a monument for the city of violence
On the Areopagos looking over athens maybe the last time
seeing for the first time the little parkon stadiou between syntagma and omonia
a demi-center bus stop and flower standswith trees close to anything as greeks allow
turkish national airlines , after a dayof defeat in the new money gardens battling
hydra merchant minds , turn aroundon this rock , face a battered ruin called
akropolis , and run my mind backward tothe perfection of this present rot in a dim
time when numbers invaded the organto the point of balance . numbers occupy
the hilton ibm card stuck on hymettos .st paul stood on the rock of ares ,
hill of men of violence , man sized hilloutside akropolis where athene peacemaker
, turn around , run my mind back to hers
" full of life now " full of life now , compact , visible " whitman
after a century certain as love you're with meputting the word on structure the word is rhythm
in a state of continuing perfectionwhen i do not know a truth from falsehood
i grow it into a tree and taste its fruitspace walking among fragments of the grecian urn
and the cold scent of money gardens
clink in my sow's ear counterfeit authority
over my zenith over my zenith , a school of silent objects
defies identificationthink of the new growth , how much more lush
how lovely for this long fall and winternow is the winter of our , this our gesture
think of the gold circle , and flower
in light of the luminous fang ,
think of the sunflower asleep in seed
in a world where things happen , think
of the dream within the dream within the dreamencounter : the mind changes lenses ,
great lanterns leave no shadow deposit
For Cotton Mather astral fires from planet to planet
like the hilltop bon fires in the agamemnon
to announce the fall of Troy
tremors
eruptions
quakes
old man cosmos shivers on a hard bedfrom the mouths of caves
and furrows opening behind plows
from holes where something pushed a rock asidethrough the skinny metal of wires
metal plates metalmobiles minerals
and the wandering metals of seawater
psssssssst !
( listen )
molecules everywhere are whispering
like times square new year's evewords change in the mouths of politicians
catastrophes
of opportunityfrom the mouths of river
wet straight-talk
in the glass on my tabletongues of flame
the old man's persistent feverfrom the homes of the wind , the breath blows outward
rock 'n' rape
official music of states
bergenbelson bopwho is responsible for the death of god
( in unison : machines !
meaning of course the industrial revolution
( he survived ice and floodfrom the protoplasmic ocean in every cell
from hitherto unsuspected cellsfrom cells which have satiated
the crematorium of modern timefrom cells which secrete secret substances
from all the building blocks
in the hands of the divine child
out of the cradle endlesslythe shuttle of being
woof and warp
the weaver of being
ancient pattern
the mystery of beingpssssssst ! ( listen )
Morning the island comes awake with the coasting
of white hulls
on a gay sea that redeems
for the eye
the icy edges of an obstinate earthafter someone points out
that a boat's wake opens behind
like a woman's legs
i see the sea knit without scarearth remembers
le pouvoir illimité de l'ésprit sur la matière
fire and water
the track of a man through life
like the track of a planet in space
( from the secret of the golden flower
the track of a vessel on the wave
under a moon
clipped from the end of a finger" only by smithing
does one become a smith "
one imitates
the work of a dentist's drill
while another
the work of a seine netalways product , never sum
( the third blessing
jacob's blessing
unity
shall supervene over all the nations
and it will endure forever
as is written :
shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms
but it shall stand forever
zoharat the center of the circle
dont le centre est partout ,
la circonference nulle part
the conversion of water to wine
occurs annually ,
wine to water daily
as usual as usual , legend settles around the man who sees angels :
as if rimbaud could deny the futility of truth ,
could keep a smug secret out of the dealah rimbaud , you give little support aside from beauty :
" a tenth of an inch's difference
" and heaven and earth are set apart
what ruins are not beautiful , what deathany segment , any assortment of experience :
how manifold splendor in the time of affection ,
how fabulous the bone , how fun the fleshman is the animal whom all creation nourishes :
notebook , pencil , thin-stemmed pipe ,
a beaker full of sunburnt morocco , illumination
New Man in Town new man in town , new space
in the same old locations , new eyes
whip out and fasten me tight in new timesees things , knows differences , looks at
encountering familiar corners beside a real life
new dimensions telescope from old concretetime is a teller of tall tales , a joker
plays spiral in place of full circle
and the best men after a time rot awaywhitman knows all about me , a natural man
sewed up in everybody's skin , free to live
equipt to die in chambers poisoned by liesbeauty the anti-clock unwinds tick-tock time
stops it forever in a net of new rhythms
and the moving perfect flows through me
Quiet Clouds, part 1: Life Lines
Quiet Clouds, part 2: Pause , Pulse
Quiet Clouds, part 3: Drywater