ETERNAL PERFECT BELOVED

Book I

THE GOLDEN RAIN

eric solibakke

agora html edition
agora press
Oslo, Norway
second edition 1998
1990, 1998 © eric solibakke

-=:OM:=-

avatar meher baba ki jai!

every word in creation
comes through the saving grace of god
and the love of the avatars in this cycle of time,
zarathustra, ram, krishna, buddha, christ, muhammad,
and in this present age, avatar meher baba,
the eternal perfect beloved,
to whom i offer obeisance as well as all credit
for these words and all results accruing to them.

victory is baba's!

foreword

Teiresias addresses Odysseus:

And when you have rid your palace of suitors,
either by cunning or with the sharp edge of a bronze blade,
select a well-crafted oar and set out in search of a people
who are unfamiliar with the sea and never salt their food,
a people who know nothing of vessels with purple hulls
or their shapely oars that move like wing feathers.
I'll give you a sure sign which you cannot mistake:
when you meet up with another traveler on the road
who refers to the winnowing fan you carry on your shoulder,
then plant that well-shaped oar in the earth right there
and offer Lord Poseidon the sacrifice of a ram, a bull and a boar.
Return home then and perform the sacred rites due immortal gods,
those who dwell in heaven's breadth, each in proper order.
Death will come very gently from the sea,
carrying you away in comfortable old age,
surrounded by a joyful people. I speak truth.

Odyssey, Bk. 11, ll. 119-137

contents

a golden rain of gratefulness

oh olive of exquisite taste, meher baba

at first i didn't recognize you in the crowd

all-pervading ocean of oneness, meeting you

wonder of wonders, grace beyond measure

while i struggle to swim, you teach me to drown

i wrap my dualities in your name

the whole created universe revolves on god's wrist

i feel like a larva winding myself

i am the world endeavoring to love you

reality milks the dream of every tear

oh friend as close as my own heart

thank you for this christmas gift

one and indivisible godself baba

i will not eat that apple of good and evil

oh purifier, you who provide no place

you are the all-pervading ocean of oneness

oh self indivisible, you play this mirror game

the all-pervading ocean of oneness washes away

the all-pervading ocean of oneness

thoughts form like rain drops, snow flakes and hail

you are my family, my father and mother

you are the self of all beings

you are the projector, sustainer and absorber

the dogs of duality bark and growl

the all-pervading ocean of oneness

the all-pervading ocean of oneness falls as easily

the all-pervading ocean of oneness

vishnu, the sustainer and protector

the poison in shiva's throat kills

reality hidden within the dream

oh what a dry night

oneness is everywhere outside of space and time

everything is wet with the water of oneness

attacked by the angry forces of maya

the dogs bark and snarl at me

you are the all-pervading ocean of oneness

do not let me get caught up

even a mind drowned in the all-pervading

your play makes imaginary islands in the real sea

god's life is shared by all creatures

sitting on a false shore

i am caught up in the dream as if it were real

all-pervading ocean of oneness

flotsam and jetsam floating in the ocean

my mind slips into a letter for a friend

as i awaken from deep sleep

i sit here discarding divisions

oh indivisible reality

i see the oneness of rain, lake, river, ocean, cloud

in the outer oneness of all things

almighty, all truthful, all loving one

buddha purnima, full moon in may

every moment i'm not looking at you

mohammed krishna ram buddha

everybody is already a baba-lover

god personal, avatar, awakener

in my dream i think to write poems

though words all root themselves in manyness

5 states of duality

you are the creator of manyness within one

all-pervading ocean which isn't there

nothing to watch, no one to watch it

mind dreams up these islands

i can't conceal my dream of desire from you

my body has its desires -- food, sex, comfort

i'm totally trapped in reality

god is

not ex nihilo, but ex unito

the apparent form of the formless is sky

the consciousness of interstellar space

the absolute vacuum of intergalactic space

you are the space between stars only relative to stars

consciousness rooted in intergalactic space

your meher baba body comes from indivisible reality

only when i'm naked do i meet you

all-pervading ocean of oneness

you who imagine suns and planets

the all-pervading ocean of oneness

oh all-pervading ocean of oneness

all-pervading ocean of oneness

the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

a golden rain of gratefulness
falls into the ocean of oneness in my heart.
oh meher baba, you drown me in yourself.
thank you after thank you merges in your grace.

this oneness in which everything disappears
and yet remains, all one, alone,
you are this everything beyond large and small,
which all struggle to divide.

dream phantoms pop up in the ocean
with their senseless scenes
and fall back into the ocean without leaving a trace.

oh beloved, you respond in love.
separation disappears and bliss remains.
where all is soaked in your wetness,
lover and beloved become one ocean without corners.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh olive of exquisite taste, meher baba,
one and all, you who heal the divided mind,
the feast of my life is to roll your name over my tongue

and enter into the silence within you,
which is empty of division and full of wholeness.

the entire universe answers your question, "who am i?"
you answer my question, "who am i?"
i am means the same as you are.
other than self, what is there?

mind, projecting analysis into manyness,
puts it feet down everywhere like a millipede,
whereas heart, projecting synthesis into one,
reaches every seeming corner with its glue of love.

the veil of twoness both reveals and conceals
the truth of one uni-formless dual-form.
all and/or nothing is and/or isn't self and/nor other.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

at first i didn't recognize you in the crowd,
then i caught your face but i didn't seem to care,
now my heart leaps with joy at every sight of you.

in the beginning you were stranger than fiction,
then you were friendlier than my own self,
finally you are the inescapable reality of oneness.

your face is everywhere i turn,
a single face in fact, filling everywhere so full
that turning and direction are impossible.

despite all the insane analyses of my mind,
you are always there in my heart
in serene synthesis, healing grace.

the moment attention slips off you, pain begins,
stress comes into play and work is created.
the moment i think of me separate from you
i have chopped reality in two
and given birth to the universe and murdered it too.
the moment attention drains away from you
dream arises full of witless scenes.
you play with these dream scenes like images in film,
pretending that they are not you.

eternal perfect beloved godself meher baba,
one and only one, self without other,
keep company with me all the time and everywhere
and please make me worthy of your company.

i bow myself totally at your feet
and beg to become dust there.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

all-pervading ocean of oneness, meeting you,
i find myself and lose myself at the same time.
by your grace i drown in the ocean
and thereby become the ocean.

i was lost in my living room
until i discovered my real home and found myself alone,
the one who is all beings in every guise.
one foot in the unity of past and future,
one foot in the unity of here and there,
i fall out of time and space, fall beyond.

i can say only meher baba exists,
only the ocean of baba's love,
or i can say only i exist.
i am the very ocean, all self, no other.
you make me the biggest ego, the only ego.
you make me you, self without other.

no more two things are here,
now just one that is both thing and not thing.
whatever that is, so am i,
glue and solvent of oneness throughout everything.

all floats in the ocean of oneness,
which washes away the stain of either and or.
there is no such shore.
everything struggles to stay afloat.
there is no solid ground and all eventually drown.

no backward or frontward when the ocean is everywhere.
what difference if i drown here or there?
i see you and don't see you at the same time,
by your grace, the creation both is a mirror
and is not a mirror of your face.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

wonder of wonders, grace beyond measure!
this small drop, full of differences and viewpoints,
becomes the ocean of oneness.

you, all-pervading glorious godman,
wash my heart clean of all bias and border.

you turn me around like a piece of a puzzle.
suddenly i slip into place and disappear in the whole.

you are the friend who shows me who i am.
i owe you everything,
not the least little bit held back,
gratitude beyond measure.

you make your body into a path for me to walk to you.
you are my companion every step of the way.

how can i return or repay such friendship?
now let me make my body into a path for you.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

while i struggle to swim, you teach me to drown.
you give me the pearl. what can i give you?

truly the pearl is beyond "you" and "me".
it is heresy to ask what can i give you.

nevertheless, i can recycle your bliss,
and endeavor to please you.

to realize you as you really are,
i recognize that only you are, that is, i am.

to love you as you love me,
i love all as you, that is, as myself.

to serve you as you deserve to be served,
i do the activity of unity among the many.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i wrap my dualities in your name,
both the good ones and the bad ones,
both praise and insult.
what are they to me when you are here!

all-pervading ocean of oneness,
your name cushions the blow
and converts disturbance into remembrance of you.
tension melts out of every opposite,
halves fuse into wholes in your presence.

all-pervading ocean of only you,
where even the pearl disappears
in the indivisible oneness of reality,
you are the unity that binds every two.
you are the coin of which heaven and hell
are head and tail.
you are the one containing many,
like a seed full of forests of fruit.

you are always there quiet and unmoved
in the midst of every activity.
you make activity possible like the rivet in scissors.
but the scissors of duality can never divide you.
only when the scissors could cut the rivet
that binds them could they divide you.
no, not even if the scissors could cut
their own rivet could they divide you!

same, same, same, no difference, no other.
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
you appear to divide like the red sea one day
giving life to some and death to others,
but a sensible person knows you never divided,
you never took one and left another.

oh oneness, there is nothing to discuss
with words all rooted in manyness.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the whole created universe revolves on god's wrist
like a handsome watch with seven hands.
he winds it and wears it
and lays it aside at his pleasure.
he's the jeweler who made it.

he knows himself in everything,
praises himself in every excellence
and loves himself in everyone.

religions come and go throughout the ages
according to the needs of mankind,
while god remains always unstained
by the excesses and short-comings
of religious practice done in his name.

his love for the creation
is reflected in the love of male for female.
woman is god as the creation.
the love of the creation for him
is reflected in the love of female for male.
man is god in the creation.

god differs from the universe
as much as a seed differs from a tree,
and god is as much within the creation
and the creation within god
as the seed is within the tree
and the tree within the seed.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i feel like a larva winding myself
tighter and tighter in a cocoon
in order to die in love and thus live.

as soon as i see the ocean of oneness
i am soaked through and through,
free of rift and recoil, relaxed, original,
anxious to drown in it.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i am the world endeavoring to love you,
and you with infinitely caring response
take me into yourself.

i am one in reality
while the world appears many within me
or projected from me
by the process of apparent divisions.
my reality is all-pervading unity.
my appearance is the world.

i am both the world and god, both two and one,
and what i say is both false and true.
the world praises god and god praises the world.
god through the world praises himself,
and the world through god praises itself.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

reality milks the dream of every tear
imagination can find, in order to make known
the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
where salt and sorrow never enter in.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh friend as close as my own heart!
the creation is a great ventriloquism, a divine theater.
players, sets, audience, author, all,
all are one and the same you,
amusing yourself with humor and sorrow,
your show of god awakening to godhood.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

thank you for this christmas gift
of the reality of you-myself
and the illusion of manyness-other
that gives rise to real compassion.

thank you for the gift of seeing the thought bundle
full of false "i" that creates the "i" impression,
and the false "i" that creates the thought bundle,
all rolled in a ball as small as the moon
during the daylight of your massive oneness.

thank you for this gift of compassion
which is the sum total of suffering,
lifted into the light of truth.

thank you for this gift of golden rain
that falls into the ocean of oneness,
which pervades the entire world, dissolving dualities.
all individuality collapses into the one individual.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

one and indivisible godself baba,
awaken me from this dream of manyness
continuing on like a plucked string
stretched between the stillness of unconsciousness
and the stillness of superconsciousness.

we are all one in unconsciousness
and one in superconsciousness.
we get separated in the impression of individuality
during the period between those two,
while we are awakening consciousness
but have not yet reached superconsciousness.

creation is the evolutionary by-product
of awakening consciousness.
a perfect life erases itself
and disappears completely away, leaving only
the purified consciousness created by it.

truth is the same for all
just as unconsciousness is the same for all.
only ignorance has differences of form
and conflicting points of view.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i will not eat that apple of good and evil,
that apple of duality, by your grace,
and i will not be cast out of paradise
into the labyrinth of entanglement in illusion,
but i will love and obey you and remain one with you.

you are paradise! cast me your daaman
as i am swept into the dualistic mind tangle
of this is bad and that is good.
the daaman is all god.

accept me to labor in your vineyard as a slave
with the root and fruit of intoxication in your love.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh purifier, you who provide no place
for darkness to hide its dull head,
who open my eyes and tie my tongue
and dissolve my mind like salt
in the all-pervading ocean of oneness,

stop the presses of newspaper mind,
sunk in the shadows of black and white type.
drop these deadlines of updates.

burn out all opposites with the flame of your love
so that nothing is left but your gaze
within everybody's eyes shining eternally
behind the ages of conditioning.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are the all-pervading ocean of oneness
still and immovable, indivisible and eternal,
without surface or shore.

all creation is your shadow.
all things and beings come out of you
although we are always in you,
and all things and beings return to you
although we never left you.

the play of shadows does not confuse you.
you know yourself in us all.
in reality only you are.
whoever claims otherwise speaks from the false "i"
saying words of shadow.

you are all in one and one in all.
how do i know that? if you were not,
then the all-pervading ocean of oneness
would be divided in two parts, you and the ocean.

the all-pervading ocean of oneness
swallows up every last scrap
of the cut and paste world of duality.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh self indivisible, you play this mirror game
that makes one seem two
-- up/down, right/left, forward/backward --
creating space out of reflection,
-- past/future -- creating time out of now.
such is the mirror game that maya makes seem true.

beyond the mirror lies silent self without attributes,
absolutely all-pervading ocean of oneness,
that single self who is all beings
in every guise of otherness,
no longer entangled in the play of shadows
with its score-keeping,
no longer standing on a false shore
contemplating the real ocean.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the all-pervading ocean of oneness washes away
all stain of duality -- no nose to smell,
no skin to feel, no eye to see, no ear to hear,
no tongue to taste, no mind to think --
yet it participates in all smelling, feeling,
seeing, hearing, tasting and thinking.

the all-pervading ocean of oneness
disappears into a drop
and even the drop disappears
into a point without parts.
the ocean is a point and the point is the ocean.
oneness pervades everything
yet remains always outside of space.

not only does the dew drop disappear
into the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
but the ocean also disappears into the dew drop,
like a grain of sand into arabia.
even more so, even when the dew drop
dries up in the sun, the ocean remains
the all-pervading ocean of immortal oneness.

the ramblings of duality go nowhere,
like dreams filled with false gold
and colored shadows full of slander.
whatever happens within the shadow
has consequences only in the shadow,
whereas in reality nothing ever happens.
all the shadows must die in time,
yet live forever.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
out of which all mind arises like a reflection,
washes against an imagined shore and throws back
reflections from an imagined surface.
though it reflects this form or that form
it remains always undivided.

mind becomes conscious
through the recognition of opposites.
mind becomes superconscious
through the recognition of unity.

mind awakens when it distinguishes
the higher from the lower,
the delightful from the painful,
and the useful from the useless.

mind transcends when it realizes
that viewpoint determines what is higher or lower,
that desire decides what is pleasure, what pain,
and purpose separates what is useful
from what is useless.

the all-pervading ocean of oneness is equal
throughout entire creation and beyond it,
neither divided by the divisions of duality
nor limited in the immeasurable beyond.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

thoughts form like rain drops, snow flakes and hail,
each falling in its own way
into the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
where they take form within the formless
like ice islands which hold their sense
as long as the temperature permits.
as soon as the warmth of real love reaches them
they disappear without a trace.

beauty and use as well as ugliness and danger,
all melt and return to original source.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are my family, my father and mother,
my sister and brother.
you are my friend and constant companion.
you are my self,
all-pervading ocean of oneness.

you are one indivisible divine wholeness,
the one reality, infinite and incomparable,
independent of all manifestation, yet within it also,
the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
eternally outside of time, formless and beyond space.

one which can only be perceived through two or more,
one present in every two, in every many,
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
you are equally in liking and disliking,
in every form, yet formless,
in every sound, yet silent.

oh all-inclusive, inescapable single face,
you are equally in the beautiful and the ugly,
equally in the ally and the enemy,
equally in the awake and the asleep.

all-pervading ocean of oneness,
word baffler beyond description,
nothing can be said of you unless words be found
outside the grid of opposites,
absolute love without fear or aversion,
absolute truth without falsehood or error,
absolute power without helplessness or failure.

filling all space, yet filling no space,
filling all time, yet outside of time,
thinking all thoughts, yet beyond thought,
feeling all emotions, yet beyond feeling,
doing all deeds, yet beyond action,
you are everywhere including nowhere.
where could any other be?
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are the self of all beings.
you see yourself and know yourself in everyone.
you embrace all and everyone in inescapable oneness.

all thought, talk and action are unreal in illusion.
the duality of thought creates the impression
that there is a thinker,
just as the thinker creates the impression
that there are thoughts.
so they create ego and ego creates them
in endless appearances of false manyness.

truth is unmodified by appearances of right and wrong.
in any opposition you are both sides.
in any comparison you are both elements.
in reality only the one is true,
you are beyond all separations.

you span all divisions,
silent in the center of sound,
still in the center of motion,
the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
present everywhere but being nowhere,
visible but unseen, obvious but ignored,
eternal in the center of time.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are the projector, sustainer and absorber,
who braids three dreams to make the world --
the concept of design, the force of energy,
and the appearance of solidness.

you tie and untie the knot of all existence,
slip all tension, undo time and dissolve space.

you are the end of wondering,
and the beginning of divine oneness.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the dogs of duality bark and growl
within the dream of separation.
they run around on a beach without size.

they don't know why they're here
or what spoor draws them to the sea.

just a few more steps and they'll drown
as i did when i fell off that shore
into the bottomless all-pervading ocean
without even a wave to mark the grave.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
one doesn't even see it until after the boat is built.
one doesn't go to sea on board
until one has already jumped overboard,
and one doesn't flop into the water
until one has already drowned.
and then one arrives at the port of one's destination.

this continent i stand on is nothing
but the all-pervading ocean of oneness.
this body is nothing other than the same ocean.
the shore is just a trick of imagination,
where we struggle to build a boat
that doesn't swim gaily away like a porpoise at play.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the all-pervading ocean of oneness falls as easily
into a speck of dust as into a mountain,
and the nobility of the mountain
finds completion in dust.

everything turns liquid when sufficiently heated,
therefore the sun keeps distance.
but invite the sun into your heart,
my friend, and liquefy the entire creation
in the all-pervading ocean of oneness.

hear it sing, watch it dance
like water drops sizzling in flames,
or lightning flaming through clouds.
and it's a really rare wine.

a dew drop, a drop of blood or semen,
a drop of gasoline or honey,
a drop of whiskey, a drop of milk,
the all-pervading ocean of oneness
enters into any one of them comfortably,
without the least bit of crowding or strain.
what tool works that wonder?
is it a funnel, my friend, or like a shoe horn?

one drop of the real ocean
contains everything in creation,
and there is a drop of it within each of us.
all keys are in it, so locks fall down like sand.
all libraries are in it,
so books open up like wildflowers.
whispers are in it,
and that is the end of secrets and manipulation,
as well as unrequited love affairs.
maps are in there,
showing every tree in the forest,
the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
yggdrasil, the lote tree, the peepul tree,
the bodhi tree, the asvattha tree,
the kabala tree, the tree of life.

be alert, my friend,
as you stand unwittingly on the shore,
one drop is certain to drown you seven times or more.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the all-pervading ocean of oneness --
here floats vishnu not separate from the ocean itself,
but supporting brahma's absorption
in his dream of meaning, energy and body.
i slip in and out of his dream.
i'm the ocean, then i'm caught up in his dream,
then i'm the ocean again.
of course, when i'm in the dream
i'm still the ocean, but i don't notice it then.
the ocean and i are the reality
within everything and everyone, the real identity.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

vishnu, the sustainer and protector,
hides within every duality.
he holds them together while no one else notices
in their enthusiasm for one or another part
of brahma's lively dream,
preferring the high, shunning the low,
inclining toward pleasure, avoiding pain.

vishnu, like the sun, chooses all equally.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the poison in shiva's throat kills
the entire dream of brahma
with its forking comparisons
of the question "who am i" that echo and re-echo
through all the kingdoms of creation.

just a drop of this poison churned
from the all-pervading ocean of oneness
kills your whole family all the way back to adam.
more than that, it vaporizes the landscape too.

this is the only real death, my friend.
all the deaths you experienced since adam
were dress rehearsals for the real one.

this blissful poison undoes every opposite
and reduces all to one and only one.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

reality hidden within the dream,
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
awakeness within sleep,
drown me, drown me yet again.

the moment i find you, i cast myself in
but i keep falling out again
into sleep and the divided dream.

hold me in that ocean without shore
until all dream is washed out of me,
all division has died utterly and disappeared
in the wholeness of oceanic heart.

drown me ever deeper in the ocean of oneness,
where the dreams of division are nowhere found.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh what a dry night!

i was counting on my friend's love,
but he just hit me
and rubbed the wound full of pride.
my heart was ripped by fear.

oh ocean, you are the only glue,
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
that restores the heart to wholeness.

you heal the tissue crushed within the dream
by waking me up again and again
to the indivisible oneness where no crush can enter in.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oneness is everywhere outside of space and time,
disguised as manyness creating space and time,
but it's just a trick of viewpoint.

you are one even within the many.
you are there, hidden within every dream.

this mind chatters like a chipmunk
in the branches of the tree of life
that grows in the sacred garden eden.

absolutely indivisible one and only one,
you are ready at every moment to fall apart
into appearances of time and space.
so persists this dream that something
else is true other than you,
which cannot be, that i see.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

everything is wet with the water of oneness,
truly under a sea of oneness, washed in oneness.

this is the beloved's real face,
outside the movements of time
and the directions of space.

this is my own real face.

in reality the faces of lover and beloved
are the same, differing only in dream.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

attacked by the angry forces of maya,
embroiled in angry response, counterattack, defense,
the center remains untouched, stainless,
reality remains unmoved, tranquil.

the enemy wants to render me helpless,
to feed her appetite for failure. i feel it.
helplessness. i feel it. remorse. i feel it.
but you, all-pervading ocean of oneness,
want me to feel the emptiness
of those very contractions of energy.

maya loves to be beaten and abused,
so she can say to god, "see what a shit you are."

because of her attacks, i become wiser.
hello lucifer, i see you in her.
you carry a light within a dark lantern,
like lightning within a storm cloud.

no matter what duality says or thinks or does,
reality is one all-pervading ocean.
don't ask me what is good or bad.
i have no point of reference.
i have only the all-pervading ocean.

reality ever-present, unlimited ocean of oneness,
constantly you are polluted with dream figures
and fragments of no consequence.
they appear and disappear
just like shadows on a partly cloudy day.

they cannot stain the unstainable,
nor can they darken the undarkable.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the dogs bark and snarl at me.
unless eumaios casts his stones, i will be mauled
and fall prey to the jaws of imagination.
they yank me out of the ever-present
all-pervading ocean of oneness
on to some false and painful shore.

what a humorous bruise to my heart,
whenever i bump into one of those imaginary rocks
that shoot up in front of me,
like suddenly falling out of the sea,
the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
even though there is no way out.

only bliss is real. only bliss exists.
to realize that no problem, conflict, suffering,
mistake, loss or threat is real, that's bliss.
no opposite is real, that's bliss.

only the all-pervading ocean of oneness is real.
this is bliss, the ever-present ocean of bliss.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are the all-pervading ocean of oneness
which erases the mind,
unbraids the three strands of space,
and removes the borders from time.

you are everywhere and in everything,
yet nowhere and spaceless,
present in every moment of time, yet outside time,
bliss without increase or decrease, total bliss.

the illusion of space comes from within
by the process of projection.
reality has no inner or outer and no senses.
reality is indivisibly one without a second.

within the projected senses, duality is law,
comparison upon comparison, from cause and effect
through desire and fear to failure and success,
none of which are present within total bliss.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

do not let me get caught up
in my projections and imaginings.
do not let me get stranded on unreal shores
of an ocean that has no shore.

let the all-pervading ocean of oneness
wash my imaginings and projections
clean of any tendency to take them as real.

you, the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
are everywhere and nowhere, always and never,
non-dimensional and indivisible.

mind is one dimensional,
composed of one set of polarities,
like the thread of time
reaching back into the distant past
and forward into the endless future.

heart is two dimensional,
composed of two sets of polarities,
like cloth woven of crossed threads,
warp of desires and fears,
woof of strong and weak,
out of which the pattern arises.

body is three dimensional,
composed of three sets of polarities,
like a suit of clothes
that drapes nakedness in outward appearance
of back and front, left and right, collar and cuff.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

even a mind drowned in the all-pervading
ocean of oneness rushes here and there,
showing off its importance and making power plays.

it's both dead and alive at the same time,
outside of time, dead in reality,
alive in imagination only, blissful in reality,
ridiculous in imagination.

vishnu floats there in the aimless sea,
while dreams blossom on his belly
like children's drawings.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

your play makes imaginary islands in the real sea
where dream-lives unfold replies to an infinitely
answerable question, "who am i?"
the divine charades acts out endless variety.

nothing ever fills this divine emptiness
any more than characters in a film fill a cinema.
an endless film unwinds
out of the divine question "who am i?"
never creating anything other than god.

out of the formless arises appearances of form.
out of silence arises appearances of sound.
out of eternity arises appearances of time.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

god's life is shared by all creatures.
if god were dead, as philosophers claim,
there would be no living creatures.

god is unlimited potential like a gong
waiting to be struck.
what is the sound of an unstruck gong?

who strikes it?
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

sitting on a false shore
in a pile of dream pollution,

saying your name again
and calling to the sea tide

to rise above this witless junk
and drown me in your real oneness.

i call your name again
and scratch it in the sand,

where lovers leave their marks
for others coming near,

before they cast themselves in
and disappear.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i am caught up in the dream as if it were real,
the dream of my problems:
whether to go to the post office or eat lunch,
what to do with anger,
why didn't he call me to go ice-skating with him?
and the dream of my friends' problems:
how to pass a test at school,
how to remember childhood,
give up compulsive snacking,
get free of drugs,
have a baby or an abortion.

oh just one glimpse of the invisible ocean,
one wave from the wave-less ocean,
one drop of the indivisible ocean.

oh just to stand on the beach of the shoreless ocean,
catch the smell of that imperceptible wind,
hear the roar of oceanic silence.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

flotsam and jetsam float in the ocean
attracting attention not because they are valuable
or even interesting.
all are mirages, yet fascinating
as they appear and disappear in imagination.

oh all-pervading ocean of oneness, this fascination
distracts me from your indescribable bliss.
with you, i know the bliss as my own real self.
without you, the junk of imagination
floats around aimlessly.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

all-pervading ocean of oneness,
undivided into viewer and view,
like a vacuum cleaner you pull into yourself
the cluttering dust of projections
and conceptions within consciousness,
all imagined and supposed.

they disappear in you,
and finally there is no bag to empty either,
neither emptiness nor fullness.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

my mind slips into a letter for a friend,
the neighbor's cat, your name, planetary
interpretation, scenes and thoughts
without number, order or sense.

i feel like a monkey plays with my remote tuner.

i'd rather hold on to the ocean without handles
and enter deep into all-pervading reality,
get high on potent oneness.
i'm dying to score.

this tv mind, channel imagine, has no off switch,
rolls on and on with infinite imagery,
except when the viewer falls into deep sleep,
pulling the plug on dreams.

all-pervading ocean, infinitely one,
free of imagery, when you are the viewer
thought creates the thinker,
and the thinker creates thought.

the sleeper pulls the plug on dreams
while still awake.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

as i awaken from deep sleep
dreams become more intense and solid
until they deny being dreams.
what world calls the waking state
is really deep in dreams of false dualities,
imagined divisions of the indivisible.

as one awakens from these very convincing dreams,
discarding false divisions, returning to unity,
one enters what the world calls
the unconscious state of deep and dreamless sleep,
but this time one enters wide awake.

thus, what the world calls wide awake
is really deep asleep,
and what the world calls deep dreamless sleep
is really the state of mind of those most wide awake.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i sit here discarding divisions,
zipping sides together, buttoning onenesses,
bringing attention to the unlimited pacific
of oneness within every form and expression.

everything reveals x-ray-like
its apparent temporary divisions of the indivisible.
only oneness is really eternal.
only the all-pervading ocean is real.

therefore i know who i am and i know who you are
as we meet within the temporary divisions
in our dream of manyness
which stages the theater of human companionship,
full of masks and colored lights, scenery, props,
and rehearsed words conceived by others.

i pull the main switch, darkening
the entire theater, and now i speak to you
unrehearsed words of my own, beyond conception.
i say hello, myself, i recognize you,
you are one, the only reality.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh indivisible reality,
how could you be divided into birth and death?
thus i call you eternal.

oh indivisible reality,
how could you be divided into good and bad?
thus i call you perfect.

oh indivisible reality,
how could you be divided into liker and hater?
thus i call you beloved.

oh indivisible reality,
how could you be divided into you and me?
thus i know you as my own flawless self.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i see the oneness of rain, lake, river, ocean, cloud,
and the oneness of my body, family, nation, race,
planet, solar system and galaxy.
certainly you are those unities, those outer onenesses.

i see another oneness in the archetypal unity of myth,
needing only one of each thing and being in creation --
one mountain to climb, one road to discover,
one fire to master, one ocean to cross --
one of each suffices to tell everyman's tale,
and certainly you are that archetypal oneness
of form and meaning in experience.

you also open my eye to see that you,
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
are another unity, the inner indivisibility
that collapses every possible variation
into an inexpressible state of profound sameness
where even everything and nothing are identical.

nothing remains in the absolute vacuum of total oneness,
which is irreducible reality.
illusion appears orbiting nearby,
wrapped in dream play and colorful projections
of unlimited manyness.
your game of creation looks so spacious,
all-pervading oceanic one,
and seems to take so long to play,
full of unfolding opposites far too various to number.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

in the outer oneness
of all things and beings in creation,
i find the door.

in the archetypal oneness
of everyman's mythical adventure,
i open the door.

in the absolute oneness
that dissolves all space and time,
i disappear through the door.

in the unity of all onenesses
that are at once within all things and beings
as well as beyond them,
everywhere and nowhere are one,
and i am that.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

almighty, all truthful, all loving one,
you are a circle that is all centers.
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
you are everywhere and nowhere, always and never,
non-dimensional and indivisible.

everything is you and not you --
you because only you exist
and not you because variety is only appearance,
a dream imagining points of view within the one,
creating relativity in space and time.

space is imaginary. time is imaginary.
everything that takes place within those two fields
of imagination is also imaginary --
birth/death, female/male,
sacred/profane, power/helplessness.

imagination thinks. reality is free of thought.
imagination breathes. reality is free of breath.
imagination speaks. reality is silent.
imagination moves. reality is free of motion.

three bodies play games of apparent death and life
upon what looks at times like some kind of shore.
this is the dream reply to your imagined question,
"who am i?"
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

buddha purnima, full moon in may,
birth, enlightenment and death of lord buddha.
lo and behold, three experiences that are really one,
the real birth and death which is ultimate awakening.

after many practice births, an authentic birth,
after many practice deaths, a genuine death,
after many practice awakenings, a true awakening,
all three simultaneously, the only real experience,
all others being but preparation, dress rehearsals.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

every moment i'm not looking at you
feels wasted, thrown away, spent for nothing.

i want you with me no matter what i'm doing
or else i'm just not interested any more.

most blissfully i return attention to you
after distractions in society or sleep.

when we're alone together
we merge in each other, visibly one.

most painfully we separate in two again,
and it is i who come between us, not you.

false divisions of the indivisible
absorb my mind in a world of projections.

i forget that you're here in every duality,
all-spanning one, seemingly far yet really near.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

muhammad krishna ram buddha
baba christ zarathustra

the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

everybody is already a baba-lover,
but most people don't know that yet,
just as everyone is actually already enlightened,
but very few recognize it.

to live a baba life means to love baba, realize baba,
and do baba-centered activities in the world.

to love baba is to remember him in all beings and things
and thus to behave toward them as the beloved.

to realize baba is actually to recognize him
in all beings and things, including self,
and thus to discover that one is him.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

god personal, avatar, awakener,
who incarnates periodically
in response to the needs of creation,
zarathustra, ram, krishna, buddha, christ,
muhammad, meher baba,
you are the indivisible face of the beloved.

god impersonal, almighty inner oneness
that underlies both outer manyness
and outer oneness so totally everywhere
that i say ocean, all-pervading oneness,
ocean of bliss, ocean of truth, ocean of love,
you are enlightenment, ever-blissful.

i drown in your pacific name, ocean everywhere,
meher baba, no middle, no edge, neither light nor dark,
inexpressible through any duality.
the question "who am i" has not arisen.
neither am i nor am i not.

the life you live lives on in me,
the truth, the love, the reality.
by your grace and abundance
and the beloved-lover romance,
help me hold your daaman
with ever more love and response.

seamless one no opposite has ever entered,
you are the floor on which all creation dances
in couples, two by two, eyes sparkling with desire
as we whirl in time to the rhythm of your awesome om.

help us use this body to love you,
to realize you and to serve you.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

in my dream i think to write poems
you will thrill to find when you return
seven hundred years from now.

in reality i know you enjoy these poems
as i write them, even before i write them,
where only you exist,
in your author-of-all majesty no centuries ever touch.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

though words all root themselves in manyness
and false divisions of the indivisible,
send words that please you,
words that carry your presence.

guide me in the structure and feeling
of your new literature.
put across the message of your choice.

write the words you wish to hear
when you return seven hundred years hence.

send out the sounds into duality
that stir and awaken unity.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

5 states of duality
2 states of unity
3 states of sharing
10 states of god
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are the creator of manyness within one
by the imagining of viewpoints
which appear to divide the indivisible.

as brahma you take a viewpoint called "now"
which seems to separate eternity
into past and future, which is false.

as brahma you imagine a viewpoint called "here"
which seems to separate everywhere
into north/south, east/west, up/down.

in reality you are never more than one,
though your play in illusion multiplies manyness
beyond the scope of numbers, which are infinite.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

all-pervading ocean which isn't there
of oneness which is there,
you're real and undisturbed within the soup cooked up
in imagination's kitchen.
beyond imagination and conception,
you're free and untrapped within the pages of print
published in concept's shop.

untouched by anything yet within all,
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
such enormous silence swallows worlds,
all worlds gone without a trace,
the noise of all worlds awakened into silence.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

nothing to watch, no one to watch it.
all-pervading ocean of oneness,
reality of realities, god the beyond.
you are the doorless door, the gateless gate
into the intensely unthinkable,
god the beyond beyond, the state of consciousness
of deep dreamless sleep.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

mind dreams up these islands,
these continents within the shoreless sea,
and forests them over with thick projections,
full of wild creatures, where the traveler
wanders lost, far from the shoreless sea.

oh all-pervading ocean,
you are everywhere and in everything.
to the traveler you first appear as a cloud,
then a rain drop, a puddle, a stream, a lake,
a river, and finally the sea.

this mirage of mind is within me and comes from me
as a play of light and sound within and without.
it looks like a playground outside a school,
with groups of children and activity everywhere.
when you ring the bell of awakening, all the children
stream into the building through one door.

only the all-pervading ocean of oneness is no mirage,
no play of light or sound,
unenterable because never exited,
unexitable because nowhere else exists.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i can't conceal my dream of desire from you
nor can i hide it from the seductive woman.
you watch that movie through her eyes
as well as mine, oh indivisible one,
amused by the interplay of your many forms.

on the path of awakening, you desire yourself,
you stroke yourself, you unify with yourself.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

my body has its desires -- food, sex, comfort.
my emotions have their desires -- affection,
excitement, happiness.
my mind has its desires -- to remember,
to understand, to be right.
my soul, ever one with god, remains absorbed in you,
reminding me that really i am you,
and that separations of duality are untrue.

my three divided friends -- body, emotion and mind --
dance a triple two-step all over creation,
as far as imagination can go,
to satisfy desires, feel secure and grow.

soul is often fooled, tricked and forced to hide
by such an entertaining threesome,
so quick and colorful and alive,
and the show goes on forever,
unless soul lays down the law:

"dance your triple two-step. i like it.
i'm impressed, but i won't be always watching,
now that i understand the set up
and know the music well.
thank you, friends, for all the fun and sorrow.

now i've found the real one, the only one,
nondual, full of love, full of bliss,
outside of time and space, though inside of them too.
i'm astonished, literally amazed,
to see the indivisible and discover that it's me!

i know you'll keep on dancing.
that's okay. that's god's play.
nothing is concealed within the one,
where everything is open and revealed.
but i'm no longer fooled nor tricked,
nor can i hide myself away."
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

i'm totally trapped in reality.
no exit. no escape. no alternative.
you are everything and beyond everything.
i'm drowned, utterly obliterated,
merged with the ocean of oneness.
either i don't exist or else i am all and beyond all.

you love you, that's your game.
you address and respond to you, that's your play.
you go away from and return to you,
that's your amusement.
you are always only you, that's your joke.
you are infinite joy, infinite humor, infinite play.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

god is.
all other isn't.

indivisible reality is.
divided illusion isn't.

infinite oneness is.
infinite manyness isn't.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

not ex nihilo, but ex unito.

mind is created by taking positions
which define viewpoints that divide unity
into relativities full of meaning
in relation to each other.
good better best, bad worse worst.

equally can one say
that mind is the creation reflected within,
or that the creation is mind projected without.
either way one sees it, they are identical.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the apparent form of the formless is sky,
the heavens in all their formless reach
to outer space and beyond.

the all-pervading ocean of oneness
manifests as the sky of interstellar space
without top or bottom, without border or shore.
the islands of imagination which arise by temporary
and only apparent divisions of the indivisible
shine out as stars, suns and planets.

through the duality of projection,
interstellar space seems to be outside,
but in reality outside and inside are indivisible,
without beginning or end, without near or far.

all-pervading ocean of oneness, you are sky,
interstellar heaven, everywhere and nowhere,
space within all as well as beyond all,
except within imagined dualities
relative to planets and stars.

thus outermost joins innermost as one,
except within the dream, which seems
by trick of viewpoint to divide the indivisible
and set one upon another beyond count,
bewildered by infinite manyness
within the infinitely one.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the consciousness of interstellar space
sleeps deep in dreamless slumber,
like god in the beyond beyond state
where the "who am i" question never stirs a viewpoint
to imagine a division of the indivisible
and begin the long dream of answers
to that most creative question of all
which awakens the whole universe in reply.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the absolute vacuum of intergalactic space,
like the all-pervading ocean of oneness,
where nothing can be seen or said
without violating the nondual state of mind,
cannot be grasped by intellect with its telescopes,
rockets, spaceprobes, or any dreamed-up craft
voyaging through lightyears of undivided oneness.
all dualities must be left behind,
body, feelings and mind.

beyond body, which is earth,
feelings, which is solar system,
and mind, which is galaxy,
one reaches vacuum absolute,
which one has always been without beginning or end,
before any dream of starlight or planet
spun through day and night.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you are space between stars only relative to stars,
otherwise you are right here,
oh all-pervading ocean of oneness,
beyond mind, beyond duality, beyond comparison,
beyond beginning and end,
and you are thoroughly within all them as well,
unchanged and independent, unbound and free.

oneness pervades everything and nothing equally.
distance disappears, except within the mind
full of relativities of near and far.

interstellar space, void and vacuum, located
nowhere except in relation to stars and planets
created in imagination by apparent divisions
of the indivisible, is seen from earthly space
through the relativities of earthly creatures' eyes.
in reality there is no where, neither no nor every,
just as there is no when, neither sooner nor later.

oh all-pervading ocean of oneness, you are
indivisibly and infinitely one without another.
those temporary islands, false shores
dreamed up within you by unreal divisions,
appear as planets, stars and galaxies,
infinite in manyness,
reflecting your infinite oneness.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

consciousness rooted in intergalactic space,
oh all-pervading ocean of oneness,
rishis describe you in wonder
as the everlasting tree whose branches
grow down on earth and roots grow in the sky.

one who sees this upended tree
takes refuge in the all-pervading oneness
out of which and into which creation ever flows.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

your meher baba body comes from indivisible reality
on a visit to the imagined world of manyness,
avataric phantom shining with one truth,
come within the dream as the best of illusion,
to lead us to the ocean where we drown
in your all-pervading oneness.

you, shoreless ocean, outside space and time,
create, sustain and absorb the world dream
within yourself as suns, planets and continents,
all giving impressions of space and time,
as well as creatures, animal, vegetable and human,
to share those impressions with.

it's like you're not here and at the same time
you're the only one who really is here.
every time you ask "who am i" another soul is born
to round the cycle of discovery and return home.

i call your name into my heart to awaken you,
oh awakener, to come together with me
and awaken me from this dream
of wanting and fearing, this comedy and drama.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

only when i'm naked do i meet you,
only when i've pulled off these garments
of involvement in the world,
these stout trousers of fascination with survival
through food, sex, money and work,
this colored shirt of feelings and powerful emotions,
this big umbrella-like hat of conceptions
and ideas that hide the sun.

once stripped of all this clothing
which i picked up in various public places,
then i meet you, oh oneness all-pervading,
and you are naked too, though you own
every possible costume in every style.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

all-pervading ocean of oneness,
you are a totally unspeakable void,
the blown out flame of nirvana,
untouched, untainted, unrelieved shunya,
he ultimate reality of intergalactic emptiness.

galactic mind, solar heart, planetary body,
all appear within the irreducible reality
of the oneness which we incorrectly call space,
incorrect because space has three apparent dimensions,
while oneness has only one -- indivisibility.

all creation consists in divine games
of imagined divisions of the indivisible
manifesting stars and planets
where only oneness really exists.
huge and awesome in human eyes,
human minds attach to false polarities as if true.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

you who imagine suns and planets,
and invite me to imagine them too,

i am a creature in your imagination,
as long as i consider imagination true.

when you awaken me from that dream,
the long separation is over.

i become the imaginer also,
totally merged in you.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

the all-pervading ocean of oneness
lies over all like the great flood,
while the entire creation in all its dualities
floats therein like noah's ark.

one who recognizes the all-pervading flood
and sees the creation two by two,
leaves behind the old world of strife and suffering,
and comes to rest in a new and purified one.

here is a portrait of mind as well as creation --
a craft of amassed opposites afloat
in the unlimited ocean of oneness.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

oh all-pervading ocean of oneness,
you carry odysseus home on a phaiakian ship,
in a deep sleep state, yet swift as thought.

you carry noah to the newly purified world
in his ark of assembled dualities.

dreaming brahma floats within you.
the nagas churn you to discover the poison
now in shiva's throat.

you are the ancient pond which basho splashed in.
the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

all-pervading ocean of oneness,
you are the ocean of love
that brings together all partners
and fulfills all longing with completion and rest.

you disappear distance. you level all ranks.
you are the loss of identity in the beloved.

the golden rain

eternal perfect beloved

2. shoulder an oar
3. winnowing the ocean
4. salt from the beloved's table, welcome home
5. no separation is possible, one another
6. the pearl tree, sea rose
7. how the rock awoke