THAT LITTLE BIRD

 
Brynar Mehl, age twenty-five, first heard of Meher Baba in Los Angeles in August of 1956, when he happened to pick up a copy of God Speaks from his dance instructor. When Brynar asked for more information, his teacher directed him to another student, Joyce Romney. Joyce, surprised by Brynar's interest, declared, "You just missed Baba! He left Los Angeles the day before yesterday." Joyce was a friend of Malcolm Schloss, and she, along with her teacher, had met Baba at the Roosevelt Hotel. She mentioned Sufism to Mehl, who eventually went to San Francisco and became a Sufi under Ivy O. Duce. He had been financially unable to come to Myrtle Beach in 1958, and since then longed to meet Baba.

Brynar Mehl had been drafted into the U. S. Army and was stationed in Germany. Unaware that Baba had changed his plans, he tried unsuccessfully for weeks to come to India in June. He cabled his frustration to Baba, who replied, explaining: "It was through no fault of yours that you were not able to come. It was a test that you passed beautifully. When you do see me, it will more than be made up for."

Mehl had not planned on arriving early in India for the East-West Gathering. From Germany, he traveled to Paris for a few days to relax before his trip. When he heard the news on the radio of the possibility of war because of the Cuban Missile Crisis, he feared he would be recalled to a military alert. On Anita Vieillard's advice, he took the next plane to India and landed two days before the darshan began.

Mehl stayed at the Napier Hotel in Poona. The following morning, Francis Brabazon came and informed him that Baba wanted to see him that afternoon. Francis left, but soon returned to say that Baba wished to see Mehl immediately.

Here is Brynar Mehl's description of his first meeting with Meher Baba:

As the car drove closer to Guruprasad, I felt like somebody was pulling my brains out of my head! I could not think. I was being emptied out, literally. It was like having a vacuum tube stuck in my head, sucking my brains out. When we arrived, Francis pointed me toward the door, and I stumbled up. He told me to take off my shoes. I got to the door, and he said, "Go on in." I looked in, and to the front of me and to the right there was a horseshoe of men. I knew that Baba was on the left, but I could not look. I was absolutely frozen. I did not know what to do. Time stopped. My brain stopped. Everything stopped. Eruch said, "Baba says you may embrace him." That broke the spell, and I was able to look.

My first impression was that Baba was so tiny. He was like a little bird. I felt I could have picked him up in my hand, held him and stroked his feathers. And his overwhelming beauty! At that moment, I knew beauty. Baba was beaming at me, literally beaming. Smiling from ear to ear. Absolutely radiant.

As I started walking toward him, so much was going through my mind. I was concerned about how I was going to embrace him, he was so tiny and delicate. I was afraid I was going to crush him. Also, I did not know if my head should be above his or below his. If I went down on my knees would I knock him over? I was in a real tizzy. At the same time, I was aware that this was the most beautiful being that I had ever seen.

As I got closer, everything disappeared. The material world around Baba disappeared. He was, in a sense, floating in a halo of absolutely pure light. Everything was emanating from him. It was overwhelming. As I got to him, these two arms came out and embraced me so forcefully that it dispelled all of my worries about how I was going to embrace him. I don't think that I have felt such strength before in my life. That little bird was very strong, very strong indeed.

Baba told me to be seated. I was looking straight ahead toward the door. I was frozen. I had a big grin on my face. It was like ecstasy. Baba asked me: "Are you happy?" I looked at Baba with a big grin on my face (I can still feel it) and said: "Oh, yes." As soon as I said that, Baba clapped his hands and dismissed me. That is what Baba had meant when he had written that when I did meet him, it would be more than made up for. It was.

The impression of these first moments with Baba remain alive and vivid. I will never forget it. In my life, in times since then when I would go through periods of doubts, I would go back to that initial impression and it would always dispel any doubts I had. It was not anything that could have been manufactured or faked. It was absolutely real. Instead of fading, these times with Baba become even more clear. Everything else starts to fall away. They are so intense, so real. The rest of your life seems very unreal compared to the times when you were with Baba.