Eventually came the question, 'Will you obey me?'
'Yes.'
'Will you go back to Melbourne and kill your three children?'
The question I had not even thought of!
I cried.
I had no handkerchief and wiped my streaming eyes and nose with my
sleeve ... a few moments of agony ... and then the comforting warmth sustained
me. I felt rocked like a baby.
Baba said, 'I would not ask you to do that, but I had to show you that you
couldn't obey me.' Then Baba explained, 'First of all there is no value in
trying to follow Baba, unless it is what you want to do, and you are willing
to obey him. It does not matter at all if you do not want to. Far better to
live an ordinary life, forget about following Baba and see God in others and
in everyday life. But if it is your real desire to love Baba and serve him,
how would you do it?
It is very difficult to do, and difficult to explain.
I cannot ask, how will I love my wife? I do, or I do not.
Can you hear that noise?'
(There was a loud banging noise outside I replied, Yes.)
'Well if you loved me you would not hear it, while you were with me.'
Then some Indian followers were called in, and Baba asked them to explain;
How to love Baba?
One said by perfect devotion.
Baba said, 'Can you do that?'
Another said by thinking of Baba continually.
Baba smiled, made the sign of perfection, and then leaned forward a little
and asked, 'Do you?' of the one who had given that answer.
After each one had explained that they do their best, Baba said: 'Well now,
I will try to explain.
Divine Love is the Real Love, but you don't have that.
So thinking of me continually is the next best, but you can't do that.
So if you naturally say my name, just while you are working or are quiet, as
often as you can spontaneously, that is good, but perhaps you can't do
that so do this:
Repeat Baba's name aloud for a fixed time daily, i.e., half an hour to one
hour now there is no love in that, no value at all in repetition. But in
this case it will bring love, because I tell you to do it. But if you don't
even want to do that don't do it it doesn't matter. Do what you want
to do, but try to remember that I am in everyone every man, woman and
child. Be happy, live naturally. But serve me in others as much as you
can.'
Eruch made clear that this is not just rushing around serving others. He
again quoted Baba, 'It is serving ME in others not their ego.'