IT WAS FORTUNATE THAT I WAS ALREADY SITTING DOWN

 
One day, Baba gave me an experience of His unbounded love, which got me through the difficult two years which were to follow and which still sustains me. The Five were gathered around Him in the Lagoon Cabin, and letters were being read to Him. I was sitting very close to Him on the floor, slightly to His right.

A sketch of Baba was hanging on the wall opposite me. Still suffering from my break with David, I concentrated on the picture in order not to burst out crying. I didn't want to show my misery to Baba; I wanted to please Him by showing Him a pleasant face.

I've always disliked most drawings and paintings of Baba, preferring photographs of Him instead, and I particularly disliked the picture on the wall. I concentrated on it very hard, trying to work myself into an angry mood to counteract the urge to cry. I said to myself, "Why did they have to make Him look so dreary? That's not at all like Him, etc., etc."

I felt drawn to look at Baba. He was looking at me and it was fortunate that I was already sitting down because the impact of the love in His eyes was so overpowering it would have knocked me down. That look alone would have convinced me of His divinity, even if it had been the only experience I had ever had with Him.

It did convince me that no love anywhere on earth or elsewhere can compare with the love of God for His creatures. I am sure that He really does love me, as He does every single one of us beyond anything we can imagine. It made tangible Baba's words, "Things that are real are given and received in silence."