MEHER BABA'S LITTLE BHAJAN

 
The days dragged on, and Baba's blood urea kept getting worse. I received several letters from Eruch during the last few days of Baba's physical life. In one of those letters, I think dated 23 January, Baba was passing through a very acute phase of suffering. The previous day He had created a little bhajan on the spur of the moment, and the refrain was, "Sai Baba, Babajan, Meher Baba che Bhagwan." "Che" means "is" in Gujarati.

Baba told Eruch to repeat it to Kaka and to make Kaka sing it. Kaka started to shout, and he brought out such funny sounds that even the mandali burst out laughing, and Baba was laughing so much that Eruch wrote that Baba had never laughed so heartily. Two or three days later Baba again made Kaka go through this singing business, and again Baba laughed. That was the last week of Baba's physical existence, and His humor was there till the very end.

As I have said before, Kaka couldn't express himself following his bout with uremia, and he must have been terribly frustrated, but he also would start laughing when Baba would laugh. If I were there, Kaka would wink at me to indicate that he was enjoying the laughter at his own expense. He saw that he was a source of amusement to Baba and that pleased him. That was his greatness too, to give Baba enjoyment even at the cost of himself.

In another letter Eruch mentioned that Baba and given permission to Dr. Grant to come to Meherazad to examine Him on the 30th, which was a Thursday. Friday was the last day of the month of January, the 31st. Meherjee was to bring Dr. Grant with him from Poona. Then in a P.S. Eruch wrote, "Meherwan, Baba gives you permission to come to Meherazad whenever you are free, and Baba has no objection to your coming here (with Meherjee and Dr. Grant)."

Meherjee came to see me and he said, "Look, when I went last time, Baba told me that next time I come with Dr. Grant I should bring you to Meherazad also, so you have to come." I told Meherjee tha I wouldn't come. I said that I felt that it would be a great strain on Baba, and if I went He would have to talk to me, and His condition was so weak that I didn't want to place that burden on Him. Why give Him such needless bother? So I refused to go. Meherjee and Dr. Grant did go on the 30th, and the first thing Baba asked Meherjee was "Did you bring Meherwan?" His sign for me was "little brother," as I am the little brother of Eruch.

But I wasn't there. I regret that decision to this day. I never knew what was to follow.