IN BABA'S CARE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY

 
Meherazad
February 2003

My dear, dear Baba family,

I want to thank you all for the love and good wishes that have come to me from all of you. Your love and support have meant a great deal to me and helped me so much.

I knew the heart surgery would be very critical and that Baba had to be with me every step of the way. I would like to share with you the following notes that I wrote before going into the hospital.

"I know that Avatar Meher Baba is taking care of me as He has always done, and I face the forthcoming surgery as calmly and bravely as is possible for me. If it is my destiny to survive and serve Him further in this life I shall be most happy and honoured to do so, with a focused desire to complete what I have begun of my life story with Him, as well as to tie up any other loose ends.

"As I look back on my life, I wish to say that Beloved Meher Baba has always been there, the leading light that guided me. So compassionately and lovingly He allowed me to be in His wondrous company and closely associated with His two closest women mandali, His beloved Mehera and His sister Mani. What an honour and joy it was; what greater gift could He have given me in life than He already has, of staying with them and serving Him."

On my departure from Meherazad I took along with me the heartfelt wishes of all the Meherazad family for my successful return. I thought often of them all, especially Goher, who was constantly praying to Baba to keep His nazar on me, and also on the doctors, that He might guide their hands as if He Himself were performing the surgery. I was deeply touched by Bhau,who frequently took time out of his busy schedule to phone and convey his loving greetings and to inquire about my progress.

This surgery was a great challenge for me, for I had to make the decision about it without Baba's direct guidance such as He gave when He was here with us. Yet when I look back I realize how near He was to me, guiding me all along. One most obvious instance was when we arrived in Poona that first day to settle down in Pumpkin House. For me this is a haven of peace filled with Baba's Presence, always so kindly and graciously offered for our use by Dara and Amrit. On my arrival I met Dr. Rao, my cardiologist. I felt the need for a final confirmation from him that indeed there was no other viable option but surgery. Only then did I make up my mind to go through with it. A little later I was resting in bed, without thinking except of Baba, when these words came to me as from Him:

"I dare not care not for those I love,
Though I let you stumble and let you fall,
I take care of you one and all."

When I was leaving the hospital, having received my discharge from the main doctors, I did not feel I was saying good-bye to members of an institution where the doctors and nurses just used their expertise in a clinical manner. I came to regard them as warm-hearted friends who really cared for the well-being of their patients. I felt Baba had chosen for me the right hospital and with such a perfect set-up. Later when I learned all the details of what I had undergone from the lovely crew that was taking care of me, I knew for certain I was in Baba's care every step of the way. It is wonderful to be back in Meherazad, and I was most thankful to be able to go to Meherabad for the Amartithi darshan. So often I remember Mehera's words to Beloved Baba, "May we be worthy of Your beautiful love for us."

AVATAR MEHER BABA KI-JAI

Ever in His Love,

Meheru