HARD NUTS TO CRACK

 
Nasik was a wonderful period for all of us. It was the first time we from the West were invited to go and live and work with the Eastern disciples. During the five years we were to be there, Baba said He wanted to train us in discipleship. He added that we were hard nuts to crack but He intended to crack us.

When we left for India, there had been a rumor that King Edward was about to abdicate if he were not allowed to marry Mrs. Simpson; and Kitty, Margaret, and I heard the abdication broadcast when we were aboard the English ship at Marseilles. When we saw Baba we asked Him about it. He said Edward had done the right thing and would come to love Him one day as we did. Meaning, I suppose, that sacrifice and intense love for another could lead to spiritual enlightenment. It was one of the great love stories of history.

The English group, consisting of the Backetts, Tom Sharpley, Margaret, Kitty, and myself arrived on Christmas Eve — the others, except Sam Cohen who arrived a few weeks later from America, were already there. This was the first Christmas we had spent with Baba. We handed in the various presents we had brought and in the evening, at a real Christmas feast, Baba distributed these Himself and Kaka made a speech which amused us, as all we could really understand was that he kept saying, in his broken English, "No discuss!"

Nasik, sited on holy River Godvari, is one of the sacred cities of India, dedicated to Ram and Sita. Baba's ashram was on land belonging to Rustom Irani whose wife Dolly stayed in the main bungalow with Norina, Rano, Elizabeth, and Nonny, while the rest of us lived in a lovely bungalow that had been specially built for us. There were two of us to a room — I shared with Margaret — and we shared a little shower room with the next room. We each had a wardrobe and dressing table — all of which was comparative luxury compared to the conditions experienced by the Westerners who were to stay at Meherabad later on.

At this time Baba had two other centers besides Nasik: Meherabad, where the women mandali lived; and Rahuri, the "mad" ashram where the mad and masts were housed. Baba divided His time between these centers, spending three days a week with us at Nasik.

This visit too proved to be, on a superficial level, a time of stress and upheaval. Each one of us was given a task and some of us two; I was made head gardener, with Ruano as my assistant, although ironically she was an expert gardener and I didn't know the first thing about it! This, of course, was the cause of much friction; like the time I rooted up a priceless tree as I had been told that it attracted snakes. But, strangely enough, although I was afraid of snakes, I did not see one the whole time I was in India, while others did.

Ruano also had to look after the birds which Baba had taken back from Marseilles although many of them had died. I picked flowers daily from the garden, and Mary made beautiful arrangements with them. It was Will and Mary's first experience of living in an ashram in this relationship with Baba, but poor Will was ill most of the time and spent a great deal of it in bed. Malcolm and Garret were busy with plans for starting a magazine called, the Meher Baba Journal. Unfortunately this partnership led to a breakup between Malcolm and Garret. Jean was also drawn into the argument and it eventually led to Garret being sent back to America. I had always found him a most generous man but he seemed to fit into ashram life even less than the rest of us.

As a result, the Meher Baba Journal did not come into existence until after our return from Cannes a year later, when Elizabeth took over as editor. Norina suggested that there should be a discourse by Baba in each issue and these messages from Baba, written down by Dr. C. D. Deshmukh, were later published as Discourses.

Perhaps Rano and Margaret had the best jobs. Rano was painting marvelous paintings under Baba's direction and Margaret was given the task of choreographing dances to themes Baba gave her and which He said would be used in the film when it was made. I was lucky enough to be present when she showed Baba what she had created: one, I remember, was called "The Dance of the Mirrors" and another was a Spanish dance. She also had to give Rano and me a daily dancing lesson and at the end of the time we had to perform a hornpipe for Baba, with poor Kitty banging away on the piano. In addition, all of us were given Hindustani lessons by Ramjoo — I must confess we were hopeless.

Along with these special tasks allocated to each one by Baba, we had a daily meditation hour, which pleased the Americans but not us so much. So Baba told Kitty, Margaret, and me that we need not meditate but should just sit and think of Him. He came to call Kitty, Margaret, and me "The Frivolous Three" because we liked parties, but He added, "Be gay, but not frivolous."

We were allowed to go on excursions which tended to start very early in the morning, especially our weekly visit to Meherabad when we set off at midnight in order to avoid the heat of the day. Mehera, Mani, and the women were at Meherabad and for Margaret, Kitty, and me who had met them in 1933, it was a particular joy to renew our acquaintance. We went several times to the house on Meherabad Hill and on one occasion they dressed us all in saris and we had photos taken with Baba. Mani would often arrange entertainments for us; this was the first time we became familiar with her considerable theatrical talents. On one day we went for a picnic, and finally we were allowed to sleep at Meherabad for one night.

We were also taken to Rahuri to see the mad and masts and on seeing us, one mast asked Baba, "Who are those mad people?" Baba explained that when He washed the mad at Rahuri, He was washing universally and that phase of humanity would benefit just as when He washed the poor and lepers elsewhere.

We went on trips to Trimback, the Pandeluna Caves, and to Happy Valley, which Ram and Sita are said to have visited during their exile and which is close to the place which in later years was to become Baba's home, Meherazad. On the day we visited Happy Valley, Rustom was with us and this turned out to be the last time we saw him because he disappeared shortly afterward.

At Nasik we would sit in the garden round Baba, and I remember one evening in the moonlight when we were all in complete silence; everything was alive with His love and His face had that same radiance I had noticed that evening in Altachiara. This was a special type of sahavas. After all, Baba has said that things that are real are given and received in silence.

The highlight of our stay was to be Baba's forty-second birthday celebrations in February. Baba was fasting for forty days beforehand and in turns we were allowed to share this fast with Him. In spite of this fast Baba was supervising every detail of the arrangements for the celebration. A large tent was being erected on the grounds and ten thousand lepers and beggars were to be brought for Baba's darshan.

On anyone's birthday we were allowed to have ice cream and it happened that Baba was there for mine on February 10. We had put on our best dresses as we always did when Baba was coming and were ready to go into the dining room when a message came summoning Margaret and me to Baba. I went quite happily expecting a special birthday greeting. Instead Adi Jr. was glumly leaning by the door and Baba, looking extremely grave, told us He was sad to hear that Margaret, of all people, had told an Eastern disciple that Baba was only holding His birthday celebrations to impress the Westerners and that I had agreed. We should know, He told us, that He did not need to impress anybody.

Of course, this made Margaret and me sob our hearts out. We had made some jokey remark to some Eastern disciples and they had been so shocked they had reported it to Baba, who had used this as a pretext to stir us up. But eventually He took us by the hand, led us into the dining room where the others were waiting wondering what Margaret and Delia had done, and told us to forget it and eat up our ice cream.

Our contribution toward the preparations for the birthday was tying up the bundles of grain which Baba was to give out to the poor. I received another rebuke over this. When Baba asked Kitty if we had all done our best, Kitty, being scrupulously honest, told Him that I hadn't. Baba spelled out, "Lazy" on the board. I was furious with Kitty and felt this was totally unjustified, but I did not answer or try to justify myself. Eventually it did come to dawn on me that He was right, because, although I could work tirelessly on a task that interested me, on other things I could be less than enthusiastic; and I came to see that Baba might have been trying to egg me on to be more dynamic and energetic.

On the day of Baba's birthday, I will never forget the sight of Him distributing those thousands and thousands of bundles to the destitute, including lepers. As He gave each a bundle from the huge pile on the platform at His side, He touched their feet with His hands. Later He said, "As Baba, I gave; as those wrecks, I received." Sitting in front, watching the darshan, was a poignant experience for both His Eastern and Western disciples. It continued all day, from eight in the morning, as the ten thousand filed past Baba. There was only one break when we all sat on the ground and had a meal with Him, but His kindness, thoughtfulness, and humor were always in evidence, hour after hour. As Jean says in Avatar:

We had witnessed the continual outpouring of Baba's benediction upon these human derelicts. Simply to sit in the audience as a spectator of the bountiful love and mercy which one could see and feel emanating from Baba was a soul-stirring experience which moved some of us to tears. Light and darkness, pain and joy mingled in a symphony of human heartbeats as the compassionate hands of the Master reached down to the level of humanity's affliction.

The next day was a celebration for Baba's disciples, both Eastern and Western. His Mohammedan disciples put a cloak of jasmine and roses on Him and others placed garlands around His neck. Then, started by His spiritual mother, Gulmai, there was a ceremony where milk and honey, followed by a little water, were poured over His feet and about two hundred of us filed past to have the honor of thus washing His feet. Baba explained:

The feet, which are physically the lowest part of the body, are spiritually the highest. Physically the feet go through everything, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the clean and the dirty, yet they are above everything. Spiritually the feet of the Master are above everything in the Universe, which is like dust to Him. When people come to a Perfect Master and touch His feet with their heads, they lay upon Him the burden of their sanskaras — those subtle impressions of thought and emotion and action which bind the individual soul to recurrent earthly lives. This is the burden to which Jesus referred when He said, "Come unto Me all ye who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." A Master collects these sanskaras from all over the Universe, just as an ordinary person in walking collects dust on his feet. Those who love Him deeply and wish to share His burden as much as possible wash His feet with honey, milk, and water which represent different types of sanskaras and place at His feet a coconut which symbolizes the complete surrender of their wills to Him.

In the evening, there were speeches by both Eastern and Western disciples, dances and music; and a well-known singer, Master Krishna, came and sang for Baba. This recital lasted for several hours and although we tried to keep awake, it had been a tiring day, and a few of the Westerners fell asleep. So those memorable two days of celebration ended. Baba had looked so beautiful and had given so much, not only to the "wrecks," but also to us.

Sadly, more trouble soon flared up between us in the ashram. There was a showdown between Norina and Jean — Jean objecting to Norina's housekeeping. Baba, as He always did on such occasions, called us all together and told us to thrash it out, keeping nothing hidden. After hearing both sides, usually telling us we must give and take, He would give His ruling. On this occasion, with His usual charm and tact, He appointed Ruano as housekeeper, telling Norina He had a special role for her in the future.

But these upheavals, in which we were all involved, were to break up the Nasik Ashram and bring our stay in India to a close. A meeting was held to decide where we would be together next and Cannes in the south of France was selected. Baba planned to bring the Eastern women on their first trip to the West and the task of finding proper accommodation for them, Baba, the men mandali, and the Westerners was entrusted to Kitty.

After a last trip to the house on the hill at Meherabad, to bid a sad farewell to the Eastern women, Margaret, Kitty, and I left Nasik with Baba and went with Him to stay with Kaka's family in Bombay, while we waited for the boat. He took us one evening to the cinema and treated us to our favorite ice cream — coconut for me and mango for Margaret. But all too soon it was time to board the ship for Europe where we were joined by the Backetts and Tom Sharpley.

And so this extraordinary stay in India ended, where the West had been brought to the East and there had been, on all levels, such mixing up. This was to continue with Baba bringing not only the Eastern women to the West on His next trip, but also the mast Mohammed, who we had already met on our excursion to the mast ashram and who was one of the few masts Baba kept with Him permanently. All this at the start of a period of unparalleled upheaval and cruelty in Europe with the coming to power in Germany of the Nazi party.

Back in Britain, we were given instructions while we waited for Baba and the others to arrive from India: Margaret was told that she was to continue running her ballet school; Kitty saw her family to make some financial arrangements; and I was in time to stay with my aunt while my mother was in America on a visit.