I remembered You 5000 times
to see what happens inside
my heart churned pink ice cream all day
Chanting Baba's Name
brings the deepest pleasure
pink pina coladas on a spring evening
O beautiful Ancient One —
Your eyes must be weeping
this summer drizzle
On this Silence Day
the birds can't
stop singing
If I could say the word
Meher, that one word alone,
the way earthworms sing
Dancing with You
alone in the lagoon cabin
raindrops drumming the roof
Flat on the boathouse deck
devouring the noon sun of You
in the reeds a blue heron
Beneath the footbridge
where You once paused
the white water lily blossom
Exhausted, I arrive
at the gate of Your home
I fall asleep there for ten lifetimes
A lifetime of mistakes
washed clean
by the fragrance of wisteria
To die before you die
listen to what the
magnolia bloom whispers
If I could only surrender
the way that alligator
stares at nothing all day
Before Your Center came into being
what native people lived here?
who was I before I knew You?
On Baba's birthday
my friend's father dies of cancer
he was weary and beaming
Walking this path
Original Kitchen to Your house
my shadow follows cautiously
Wandering Your garden
looking over Long Lake
so much sadness in the world
By the footbridge
the pine tree You leaned on
how gentle it feels
Shoes on the steps
of the lagoon cabin
welcome home
As I journey through
this world of illusion
Your turquoise Edsel turns to rust
Journeying the white marble
veiling Your beautiful face
an ant and I fall through a window
In Your Samadhi
the still point of the turning wheel
roses crumble into Nothingness
Bowing to the stone
that sunk You back down
a sudden chorus of birds by the well
Halfway up the hill
hurrying to evening arti
a crow teaches me to pray
Inside Your jhopdi
where the Silence began
the Silence began. the Silence. the.
As the whole world sleeps
faces kiss the pillow
on Your Meherazad bed
Silence Day
the sound It makes inside
helped build the pyramids
Another Amartithi comes and goes
another bicycle bell
alerts me to You
Fresh snowflakes
on Your birthday
pure white mind — the open gift
Your glowing face
the eternal dhuni flame
always consuming
Behind Your tomb
a lamppost
upon entering Narnia, what the children saw
Yesterday's garlands rot
by the night watchman's post
compost for the soul
Your presence alights in the heart
a butterfly on a rose petal
one quiver and it flees
Even in the Samadhi
how I long for the Samadhi
when I hear the distant cowbell
In Your bedroom
a fragrance not from flowers
sends me in search of that garden
On its endless journey
from You to You
a caterpillar travels a leaf
Happy newlyweds
on the path to Your house
do I tell them they do not exist?
Leave the church, the synagogue,
come out to inhale His infinite beauty
in this single camellia bloom
In my right ear
the sound of Ocean singing
in my left Highway 17 humming
Remembering You
by the deep woods trail
the white dogwood sheds one petal
On Silence Day
a long conversation
with a bemused green lizard
Today dolphins
just beyond the breakers
Your Name weaving everywhere
Spanish moss —
I steal some from a tree
and You ask me why
Pelicans in the wake
of a shrimp boat
a crowd in Your bedroom this morning
The white swan
returned to Long Lake today
we were afraid it had died
The sand in Your garden
raked clean of footprints
no trace of self for a moment
Your birthday gifts
a clean blue sky
a light frost at night
Walking the beach
listening to those waves
and the inner swells of You
Sunset, the sea on soft fire
the beach where You still sit
all those years ago
Your Silence shatters
a drop of dew
slides down the water lily
Geese in a perfect V
the heart just knows
to sing Your Name
All those dogwood blossoms
cheerfully twirling
into Your open lap
Such deep surrender:
the silver perch leaping
toward Your waiting hand
Frog concert tonight
a two note symphony
listen to the inner lake
Perfect obedience:
the butterfly snagged
by a spider web, napping
Summer moon swimming
inside the midnight lake
shimmering in my heart, Your face
Over the boat house
a full moon wanders
Your face transits deep within
Inside the porch roof
of Your Samadhi
black squirrels nesting
We lower the tomb cloth
with a prayer
a lizard looks on
Sponging the threshold
of Your Samadhi
billions more feet yet to cross
Ages ago You stopped here
this ancient pond
seven turtles dozing on a log
Listening for Your voice
inside and out
in the quietude of the redbud tree
O Ancient One
light from Your face
trickles through the midnight pines
Why do You allow
all this pain?
why these turtle tracks into the sea?
In the lagoon cabin
sleep descends
a dream of napping in Your arms
A cold spring day
amid cherry blossoms
all of Your mercy, all of Your peace
Irises on either side
of Your empty chair
outside, roses demand their turn
At dusk a black vine
dangles over Long Lake
monkeys grasping for the moon
Your lovers have strong hearts
yet they're sick
happy in pain, tortured in happiness
You become even more beautiful
in the waves
of the caterpillar's walking
Sun coming up
trees, lake, sky catch fire
mystical glow in the heart
Coolness of marble
on the forehead
the foot of Your Samadhi
O Ancient One
You are even this broken twig
so what excuse is there for myself?
Morning tea enjoyed
on the boathouse deck
in the company of dragonflies
Down the beach road
seeking a hint from You
a Sparrow for all sparrows
A Particle of dust
for all particles of dust
on her eyelash
An Ant for all
ants wandering
across my blue jeans
Ancient pottery shards
easily unearthed
near the Original Kitchen
Waning moon
over Your Samadhi
Arangaon celebrates
Sticks tossed
in the dhuni fire
hobbled bull coaxed home
Black gondola
glides across Long Lake
alligator eyes watching
Huddled around
Your empty bed
sleepers awakening
Once again
in Mandali Hall
the gong chimes
A crowd gathers
on Meherazad porch
so close, so far away
Christmas day
on the Center
You left pine cones everywhere
Your infinite suffering
in this ant dragging
a struggling beetle home
Silence Day
mows through
the garbage mind
Your great mystery
in every leaf
every friend
This black ant
walking the path to Allah
the Most High
Leaving the lagoon cabin
my heart fills
with gratitude
Leaving the lagoon cabin
my soul absorbs
light upon light
There is no god
but God
in this lilac blossom
The door to the heart
swings open
as I enter Your bedroom
Coming down the hill
from morning arti
yellow orange green saris
The majestic stillness
of this solitary water lily
Your Silence in full bloom
Early autumn sunset —
ducks on Long Lake,
the heart's winged migration
A gift of zen raking
Your sandy garden
a matrix of tranquility
A pine cone falls
on the lagoon cabin roof
Your Silence deepens
The sea
the beautiful sea
I hear It all night long
On Your birthday
ice-laced trees
within, the melting candle
At the Beloved's threshold
a terrible ocean
so many tears of separation
Crescent moon
high over Your tomb
bismi 'llah ir-rahman ir-rahim
October 16, 2005
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