NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER

 
Yes, I am tired, and many a time depressed too,
Yet sometimes I feel lively and exhilarated. Why?
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Whether I am recklessly rushing toward You,
Or You are hurriedly coming closer to me,
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Whether You are inviting me with open arms to "hurry up,"
Or I am hesitating to enter Your embrace,
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Whether it is I who am on the brink of diving in,
Or it is You who are intent on pulling me in,
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Your first embrace was the most blessed moment of my life.
Since then I should not have complained, but I do. Why?
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Whether it is Your compassion that refreshes me,
Or the flame of Your Love that frightens me,
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Whether it is Your Love that sustains me,
Or Your Love that exhausts me,
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

Whether this is all Your meaningful game with me
Or my foolish play with You,
I do not know, but now it does not matter.

I do not know, and it is good that I do not know,
For all that matters is that You know.
But why even think about this?
I do not know, but now, really, it does not matter.