BABA'S PERSONALITY BLOCKED OUT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ELSE

 
When we arrived at Ivy's apartment, we were told we could not ask any questions of Baba, nor even speak to Him. We would be introduced to Him and then would pass on. So I was unprepared for what actually happened.

I preceded Frank into the room. I was later told that some of Baba's mandali (close disciples) were in the room, but I wasn't aware of them or anything else. Baba's personality blocked out everything and everyone else. As soon as I crossed the threshold, it seemed as though I had stepped on a live wire, for a shock went right through me from my feet to my head. But there was no time to stop and wonder about it. I was impelled forward, no doubt by Frank.

Baba, dressed in a long white sadra, was half-reclining on a couch, His leg in a cast. As His large, dark flashing eyes looked at me, I felt a tremendous warm wave of love flow from Baba and break over me. It wasn't just a feeling; it had a physical impact. He looked at me with such love, greater than any love I'd ever experienced. It was greater than the love of my parents, brother, sisters, lovers and friends combined. It was overwhelming and it left me in mild shock.

Time stood still and yet it seemed hours were going by, although it could only have taken me a few seconds to reach Baba. All around me was in a haze; only Baba was clear. He turned His head to one side as though He couldn't contain His joy at seeing me.

I was reminded, as bizarre as it may seem, of a pet dog I had years before who would do the same thing on seeing me again after an absence. She was so delighted that she wasn't able to move, but would just stand still, wagging her tail so that it shook her whole body, her head turned to one side in ecstasy and her eyes scrunched into slits. Looking back now, I'm sure that Baba used this memory as a means of drawing me to Him.

Baba looked at me as though He knew me. He seemed to have expected me, not just another scheduled interviewee, but me. Why me? I was bewildered and flustered. I thought, "It's not possible. He couldn't have expected me. He doesn't know me."

Baba held out His hand. Not expecting this, I had not removed my glove. Embarrassed now as well as confused, I was forced to shake hands with my gloves on. Later, to my chagrin, I lost the glove. Baba, who had then been silent for 27 years, motioned to Frank and me to sit down on two low seats next to Him on His right. Baba was using an alphabet board at the time, and He spelled out, "I know them, but they don't know me."

Much later I learned that when a Master draws his followers to him, they are unaware of it, but he knows where they are and will use all sorts of means to draw them.