I AM THEIR FATHER

 
This account continues in my room in Madrid, Spain, in September 1975, exactly one year from the time I began to write it. Day after tomorrow we go once more to Avila, where the Beloved was so happy. So now during our annual rest and holiday, there is time to continue the recollections of those precious days at Meher Center.

Thursday P.M., May 22, 1958

The afternoon of that "day of days" was to be the precious time for my Wendy to meet the Ancient One. To my surprise, Kitty came to me and said that Baba thought it good that the film to be shown that afternoon (of His trip to America in 1956) could be seen at my theatre. I was delighted (but a little concerned that all would look well, because even the seats were not bolted down!). We had designed and were in process of creating the arena style theatre in the Shrine Club on King's Highway. I recall Margaret's dancers going ahead to make ready for Baba — placing His chair and setting things right. Wendy (then six years old) met me at the theatre. Baba said her Auntie Boo was to pick her up at school.

Never ever shall I forget one moment of her meeting with Beloved Baba. It is as clear now — eighteen years later — as on that day. We were standing in the lobby — some people from the Air Base were trying to give money for season tickets. Suddenly, there was Meher Baba coming through the big doors, again being carried so lightly and gracefully in the lift chair by His dancers. Wendy and I ran — we were standing, hand in hand, on the right side of the entrance foyer as they brought the Beloved in. We were wearing simple cotton dresses ("twin" dresses — mother and daughter). Baba smiled so sweetly — gestured gently to us — to one, then to the other, with a delighted expression, as if to say: Oh — just alike! At that moment Wendy flew into the Beloved's embrace — just like a homing pigeon. His arms were outstretched wide. Indelibly imprinted on one's heart — in one's consciousness — is that most beautiful picture. Baba's arms enfolded that small figure with the tenderness of a Father with His precious child. Her little head lay on His shoulder, and when the "eternal moment" was complete, Wendy's face, wreathed in smiles, was radiant.

It was the most natural of meetings, as it had been with John and Charles. The familiarity of returning home, to their One Father; the inexpressible pure unbounded Love that is offered from the Beloved to each of His children, was, and is, the only miracle — the miracle of God's Grace.

And the love that shone like a pure light from each of their hearts and souls was a reflection of this greater Love.

We all gathered in the large space that was to be the theatre. After the Beloved was seated, I saw Wendy and Charles run quickly to Baba's side. I thought: Should they do that? And was about to call to them when Baba (whose back was to me) turned and gestured like lightning to me: Let them come! And they sat at His feet throughout.

I have only impressions of the beautiful film; how could one concentrate on it when sitting so near to the God-Man? I recall soft colors; later I learned that this was in the Muir Woods in California where the Beloved was surrounded by joyous children beneath the giant redwoods. It seemed as though golden sunlight literally dripped from His Form. The film recorded the journey in 1956: arrival in New York . . . stay at Meher Center . . . planting the tree . . . Elizabeth and Baba, near the Barn . . . on to California — taken by Charmian Knowles. A panorama of color and beauty and love. But on that day of days, May 22, there were only impressions on the screen — nothing and no one existed except the still, beautiful Presence of Meher Baba, my Trio at His lotus feet; all of heaven contained in that room. Later the Beloved sent a cable to me, care of Elizabeth:

REBORN IN MY LOVE, YOU ARE BLESSED. LOVE ME MORE AND MORE.

Only the Eternal Christ could put into human expression what those three days meant in the lives of four souls returned to Him.

After Baba's departure from the Center, EliKit told me that on the way to my theatre that day, Baba asked Charles to sit beside Him as Elizabeth drove to the theatre. Kitty was in the back seat. She and Elizabeth told me that on the way there Kitty leaned forward to Baba and said, "Baba, what about Sonny and Jane?" Baba turned 'round to her and gestured with a strong motion of His hands, pushing them out — far apart — and said: Finished. Over.

Kitty protested, "But Baba, what about the precious children? Don't they need their father?"

Baba replied with a surprised expression: What do you mean, Kitty? I am their Father, and I will always be.