[Tavern-Talk] HEART TALK - More Original Letters: Second Letter

[Tavern-Talk]

HEART TALK - More Original Letters: Second Letter

This is a handwritten letter to Baba from Jal D. Kerawalla,
one of Meher Baba's early followers from Nagpur. Jal held
a high government position and often proved useful for
any of Baba's "official" work, including the establishment
of a center for Baba near Bangalore in the late 1930s, and
arranging for Baba's seclusion at different places in India.

This particular letter was written from Mandla, where Jal
had been posted in 1937. It was because of Jal Kerawalla's
contacts in the area that land was donated to Baba for a
center there, where Baba later instructed a replica of his
tomb to be built.

Baba often praised Jal Kerawalla's devotion. In 1952, for
instance, as Baba listened to the mandali read out
newspaper clippings about Jal's death, he commented: "Jal
obeyed me one hundred percent without any complaint
and with absolute faith. Indeed, such obedience and faith
is rare." Baba even placed a garland on Jal Kerawalla's
grave when he visited the cemetery where he was buried.
(More about Jal's love and service for Baba can be found
in Eruch's book, "That's How It Was.")

The letter is fragile and parts have disintegrated, leaving
holes in the paper and hence words missing. At the top of
the letter, in Baba's handwriting, are his initials "MSI."
Next to it, in red pencil, is written "Mand," which is found
on many letters and stands for "Mandali," and indicates
the category for filing.

Some adjustments have been made for clarity. The
original can be seen by clicking the link:

http://www.ambppct.org/museum/morigltrs/morigltr02.pdf

============================

Mandla. (C.P.)
(India).
3.9.37

MSI [Baba's handrwriting]

My dearest and most loving Shri Sadguru Meherbabaji,

I do not know whether to blame myself or what but since
you have left India this wretched self has as I were
forgotten my beloved Baba. Because this wretched mind
could not otherwise have lapsed into old ways. It may be,
on the other hand a Lila [Divine Game] of [the] beloved to
repeatedly show the littleness of this wretched self. My
beloved what is hidden from you? Why do you then do
this? Really so silly of me to put my beloved Baba that
question even for what can this wretched self understand
of the working of my beloved. My Love you may do what
ever you like with this most wretched self but at least do
not leave this heart. Because so long as you remain in it,
life has real interest and it is worth living but when you
leave it there is a complete chaos-followed by the worst of
feelings and disgust for life itself. My beloved Baba your
kindness for this wretched self has been the greatest and
when I experience these lapses I feel so miserable; then
again some encouraging idea comes that after all this may
be my beloved's own doing for some distant object of His.
What ever it is my love I again pray that do not again
leave this heart.

My Love for you what is England or America or India.
Before I even call you at times you do all and yet this
stupid self some times thinks that because beloved Baba
has gone away far off therefore these storms have come:
How little minded! Real happiness would certainly be on
the day when this wretched self sees my beloved in His
universal and omnipotent form and then there shall never
be absence of my loving Baba.

My lord you must have already heard the internal cry of
this wretched self and in fact your sending the message
this morning in one of your ways leaves not the slightest
doubt of what anxiety and care my beloved has for this
wretched self.

So my beloved Baba I will now close with a short prayer

Nirmal meri atma ko
Mai vinanti swa-yam va prata
Tere hai kaun dino ka bandhu
Ke jisko mai apni abastha suna-u

[Pure soul of mine
[I sing] my prayerful request myself in the morning
What concern is yours for us, oh comforter of sinners
To whom I may relate my state]

With the sincerest love and devotion I remain my beloved
Baba yours ever obediently,

Jal D. Kerawalla.

===================================

Jai Beloved Baba!
Archives Team
Avatar Meher Baba P.P.C. Trust

Other Heart Talk letters can be selected at:
http://www.ambppct.org/archives/collections/written_materials/correspondence/heart_talk.htm

To learn more about the Avatar Meher Baba Trust Archives go to:
http://www.ambppct.org/archives

Heart Talk, Letter 252, 11 September 2008
Copyright 2008 Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public
Charitable Trust